Lola's · Rants

THATJOSHGROBANGUY.COM IS COMING DOWN!!!!

SOMEONE NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING SO WE DON'T LOSE ALL THOSE BEAUTIFUL VIDEOS!!!!

If anyone has the means to put up a site like TJGG, i'm BEGGING you, please do it!!

Current Mood:

disappointed

the other night, i was spending the night at my BFF's house and so it was the 2 of us, plus my sister and fake Josh.  we were just hanging and talking about random stuff. 

then i get a text message.  and what a text message it was.

"NEW PICS OF JOSH WALKING OUT OF A LONDON HOTEL HAND-IN-HAND WITH A GIRL!!"

i gasp, first because of the new pics part but then even before i could exhale, i gasp a bigger gasp at the girl, hand-in-hand part.  my lungs, i guess, couldn't take so much gasping that i started coughing and coughing.  i felt like i was choking or my throat was closing WHILE i felt my face growing hotter by the nano-second.

my friends look at me, scared that i was dying or something.  they were really concerned, they probably thought they were going to have to call EMS or something.

they ask me if i'm okay and i don't react or say anything except throw my phone at my sister.  the message is still lit up on the screen and she reads it out loud.  i'm still coughing and trying to take a breath while THEY'RE LAUGHING!!

i grab my friend's laptop and log onto the boards to see them, almost afriad of seeing them.

they give my phone back and instead of forwarding the text to my other Grobie friends, i call the evil text message originator.

"Are you kidding??"

"*giggle* yes."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Current Mood:	amused
Current Music:	You and I- Josh Groban and Julia Murney

a little over a year ago, i liked this guy.  we'll call him Albert for now.  i liked him A LOT and my close friends knew it and it just so happened that his BEST FRIEND is one of MY best friends too.  we'll call HIM Andy.  so i tell Andy that i like Albert and he kinda knew already so he wasn't shocked.  he was cool with it and actually found it cute.  so it was coming time for prom and i had been toying with the idea of asking Albert to prom.  i'm soo shy and asking him in person is totally out of the question at the time, so i decide on sending him a text message, asking him...i didn't think that was too informal or weird since that's was the main way we talked.  so i type the message out on my phone, "i was wondering something.  would you like to go to prom with me?"  now, i'm usually not one to ask a guy out when it comes to stuff like this, but at the same time i'm not soo old fashioned that i'm totally against a girl asking a guy.  i see nothing wrong with that.  so anyway, i'm sitting on my bed, staring at the message, not sure whether i should hit SEND or not.  my sister comes into the room and asks what i'm doing.  i explain that its time to ask, since she knew the situation already.  she encourages me to send it.  i go back and forth talking myself through it.  finally, i send it and regret it as soon as i see "message sent".  i'm waiting for what seems like 10 years for a response and NOTHING.  finally, after a while, he responds, "wow, dude.  its kinda early but i'm not sure.  i promised a friend i'd go to hers at her school and i don't know the date yet."- neither a yes nor a no.

so the time between that day and the week of prom, i hear nothing that i can take as a sure answer.  i'm asking Andy if he knows anything and he just says that Albert hasn't said anything about that.  so i'm here, pulling my hair out, wondering YES? NO?  ANYTHING?!

then i got determined.  "if he's going to turn me down, i want HIM to tell me, not anyone else."  but then my BFF (we'll call her Rachel) tells me that Albert told her that he didn't want to go because he thought i was obsessed with him.  he turned me down THROUGH a friend because of a lie.  

prom comes around.  i have no one to go with.  all my close friends have dates, even my sister who was a sophomore at the time had a date because her BF was a junior, but all my friends decide that we'll go in a group, whether we have a date or not.  whatever.  so i go, ask a friend (very cute one, by the way) to take a pic with me just cuz and on the way to where the photographer was, i bump into Alber with his date.  he looks soo damn hot in his tux and then i notice HER.  some fake, bleached blonde bimbo he ended up asking to prom.  (i'm guessing that "friend" ended up finding a date of her own)  she's wearing some really light yellow dress that made her look like an extra from a non-existant movie titled "ho goes to prom".  anyway, turns out that he had a really suckish time at the dance with her because she just wanted to make her ex jealous. HA!  Karma's a bitch.

i conveniently ignored Albert as much as i could that night and everytime i'd seen him since up until last Friday.  Rachel had a graduation party at her house and since her mom knew Albert and Andy, she insisted that Rach invite them.  so she did, much to my annoyance when Albert's name came up.  i decided to be mature, act my age and try to put all that crap behind me.  so it ended up that i'm sitting at her party, at a table for 10, right smack dab between Albert and my current crush (we'll call HIM Fake Josh, FJ for short).  talk about awkward!  so i make small talk with Albert, probably stunned the crap out of him, after having been ignored by me for a year.  then, FJ says he has to leave because he has to pick his dad up from the airport.  ugh.  he was the only one i had been having fun with.  we just get along so well and connect better than most of our friends do.  so then after he leaves, i start talking to Andy, which is fine because we were getting caught up with each other.  then, i notice my sister talking with her flirty voice/face to Albert.  oy.  she's one of those girls who SAYS she's insecure about herself but NOTHING about her seems to prove that "fact".  i nudge Andy and say "look, its only a matter of minutes before she's crushing." and he nods his head in agreement.  later, she leaves to go shake what she lacks (and what i have..yeah! suck it bitches!) on the dancefloor with some other friends.  so i'm at the table with just Albert and Andy.  the 3 of us talk like nothing was ever wrong and i feel the old crush coming back slowly, but strong.  i practically dig my heels into the dirt, not wanting for that drama to come up again, but i just couldn't help it.  he's so funny and cute. AH!

then, i get a call from my mom that my dad was admitted into the hospital because of his high fever.  i was kinda expecting it because he'd been like that for a few hours and they went to the ER, so it wasn't a shocker, but still not comforting.  i was supposed to spend the night at Rachel's with my sister but with my dad in the hospital, we decide its just better for us to go with our mom.  so we're leaving Rachel's house and i see my sister texting like the world is ending right then and there.  i peek over her shoulder to see who the recipient is and i see "Albert".  UGH!  they texted all the way to the hospital, while we were there, after we left, during the ride home, once we got home and through half the night.  the same thing the next day.  then she starts getting calls, and now i cringe when i hear her phone go off.  i KNOW its him because not only does she know that i have history with him and that it was coming back, but she practically runs out of the room and holes up in her room when she gets his calls.  she doesn't do that with anyone else.  so i finaly confront her. 

"do you like him?"   

no answer.  

"Tell me!"   

"you're gonna get pissed."

that was enough of an answer for me.  not only is it this time with this guy, but its happened before.  last summer she was the same way with FJ.  i liked him, she liked him and he knew it AND he liked HER back.  she's an outgoing, talkative person, which is NOT a bad thing, but she's a HUGE flirt.  and that's gotten her into trouble before.  one time, she told my parents that she was going to a birthday party at the bowling alley.  they dropped her off and she ended up getting picked up by some guy she'd met the day before through Andy and Albert.  he took her to some place in the middle of nowhere and tried to get her to have sex with him.  

she always ends up winning the guy.  they don't always end up going out or anything but she wins...and they're usually the same guy i like.  i'm not at all like her.  i'm more quiet and reserved.  it takes longer for people to really get to know me because of that but its not like i don't exist.  that's just the way i am but with someone like her around, i don't get a chance to even get a word in.  and then she tells me, "you need to start talking to guys."  WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!  

meanwhile, last night, i could hear her in the other room talking to Albert on the phone.  i was just to frustrated with everything going on, my dad in the hospital, my sister practically keeping me from talking to him...so i text FJ telling him what's going on.  he's one of my best friends and i can tell him anything, plus he knows the situation.  he tells me that its just Albert, that he's never liked him, that he's not deserving of me (aww) and that i'll find my guy one day.  that just sent me over the emotional cliff and i'm tearing up right now thinking about what he said.  

it just hurts to see this happen over and over with my sister.  she's supposed to be my ultimate best friend and what does she do? she stabs me in the back.  its like "give me a chance!", she just jumps in head-first while i'm testing the waters.

i know ONE DAY, i'll probably find the guy that i'm meant to be with, but in the meantime, why do i have to go through so much shit?!  sometimes i just feel like i'll always be the sister that never married, never had a boyfriend, never even had someone that liked her back.  on the other hand, not to sound conceited or anything but i KNOW that i have numerous good qualities and i just don't get why people, guys in particular, overlook them.

the other night, Albert and Andy were over, so it was just them and my sister and i.  we were talking about the worst things we've ever done with the opposite sex and when they came to me, i had nothing to say.  i was so mortified that i had nothing at all.  truly, i am a virgin in all aspects of the word.  i'm almost 20 and a complete virgin.  its only a matter of time before i'm considered a spinster.

Current Mood:	uncomfortable
Current Music:	"Alejate, no puedo mas"

i don't like it.  i mean, i can understand people's reasons for reacting the way they did..INITIAL reactions..

but dragging it on for no good reason seems very juevenile to me.

is it too much for us to act like the adults we are?

*sigh*

i hope it works out.

Current Mood:	disappointed
Current Music:	Josh Groban & Barbara Streisand- "All I Know of Love"

the synthesizer is an organ on crack.

playing the drums is revenge/torture on/for wooden sticks.

the camerama(/e)n for Awake Live are obviously gay...way to showcase the talent!!  (good job, really! ..not sarcasm!)

who knew YRMU could be dirty?? LMAO.

i swear, if my Awake Live doesn't come today, i'm going to kill something.

*bangs head against wall*

Current Mood:	aggravated
Current Music:	Josh Groban- "Awake", the song

JOSH FREAKING GROBAN 

Current Mood:	excited
Current Music:	Josh @ Sundance

Brooke swears by it.  

we'll see how that goes.

Mr.MagicWand is keeping quiet.

No paps pics.

I guess that's good.

Right?

I'm bored with my fanfic.

Not good at <3 scenes.

What do you think?

Current Mood:	bored
Current Music:	Liz Phair

Ugh, and i still have to wait a whole other hour.

I guess i'll be entertained with Smallville.

Nothing new with the StudMuffin.

Boo.

ALTHOUGH, its less than a week for the GMA appearance.

Must go back to fanfic writing.

Current Mood:	bored
Current Music:	Chicago

Carly got voted off.  I liked her.  

I really wanted Jason off, or maybe Brooke.  Either one of those two wouldn't have been a huge shock... but Carly?? 

Seriously? Seriously.

On the other hand (yet slightly related because of the 'seriously'ness), i'm excited for tomorrow.  Know what that means?? Grey's Anatomy's back!! Woot-woot!

I heard McDreamy AND McSteamy are going to be doing the McDirty..hopefully not with each other.  HAHA.

Is Smallville back too?  

I don't know, Lola answered herself.  

Smallville was the pre-JG obsession.

Again, slightly related, that leaves 12 days, 1 hour and 6 minutes.

Awake Live.  <333

if oranges are called oranges, why aren't apples called "reds"?  cuz the fuit-namers like to keep us wondering, that's why.

why can't tone-deafs just admit they can't hear the note?  cuz most of them are stubborn too.

why do people look at you weird if you break into song?  they know they wish they had courage to do it too.

do pandas really sneeze that loud?  maybe its a side-effect of Panda Love.

is it really so wrong to use random words?  yes, because the bananas said so.

Current Mood:

bouncy